You can call me Joker. And as you can see, I’m a lot happier.

Someday. That's a dangerous word. It's really just a code for 'never'.

No dream is ever just a dream.

In this life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve - it's what you take!

Just let the wardrobe do the acting.

I mean, it’s really hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace.

Decent people shouldn’t live here. They’d be happier some place else.

I only take Viagra when I’m with more than one woman.

I think the Greeks invented sports as an antidote to philosophy.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

No issue is more compelling than the air we breathe, be it hot or cold, be it hawk or human.

You can’t handle the truth!

There’s no point dwelling on what might or could have been. You just have to go forward.

Women - a mistake, or did He do it to us on purpose?

The only way to break a bad habit was to replace it with a better habit.

You look at someone long enough, you discover their humanity.

I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.

I envy people of faith. I’m incapable of believing in anything supernatural.

I’m Irish. I think about death all the time.