The only way to break a bad habit was to replace it with a better habit.

Decent people shouldn’t live here. They’d be happier some place else.

I only take Viagra when I’m with more than one woman.

I think the Greeks invented sports as an antidote to philosophy.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

You can call me Joker. And as you can see, I’m a lot happier.

No issue is more compelling than the air we breathe, be it hot or cold, be it hawk or human.

You can’t handle the truth!

There’s no point dwelling on what might or could have been. You just have to go forward.

Women - a mistake, or did He do it to us on purpose?

You look at someone long enough, you discover their humanity.

I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.

I envy people of faith. I’m incapable of believing in anything supernatural.

I’m Irish. I think about death all the time.

Just because you’re a perfectionist doesn’t mean you’re perfect.

It’s very easy to go down, so always live up. Incline yourself upward.

The minute that you’re not learning I believe you’re dead.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.