My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide. - Phyllis Diller quotes

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

Author: Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller Quotes - My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.

Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.

Author: Phyllis Diller

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