Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults. - Mitch Hedberg quotes

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.

Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

If 13 is unlucky, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association.

If 13 is unlucky, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

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