When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly. - Mitch Hedberg quotes

When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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