My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg quotes

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

See all Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.

I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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