Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented. - Johnny Carson quotes

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Author: Johnny Carson

See all Johnny Carson Quotes

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.

Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.

Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

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