Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak. - Johnny Carson quotes

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

Author: Johnny Carson

See all Johnny Carson Quotes

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

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