If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

The secret of making progress is to get started.

You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.

Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.