I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal. - Neil Simon quotes

I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.

Author: Neil Simon

See all Neil Simon Quotes

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

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