I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him. - Steven Wright quotes

I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.

Author: Steven Wright

See all Steven Wright Quotes

The stuff that works best is driven by passion rather than dollars.

The stuff that works best is driven by passion rather than dollars.

Treat people like you want to be treated; live and let live; and also give the other person a break now and then.

Treat people like you want to be treated; live and let live; and also give the other person a break now and then.

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

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