30+ Best Steven Wright Quotes

In today`s post, we have brought some inspirational quotes by Steven Wright( Steven Wright quotes motivational) that you can easily copy and paste to share on Instagram, WhatsApp, and Facebook!

Motivational
Inspirational
Positive
Short
Wisdom
Unique

Steven Wright Motivational Quotes

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. - Steven Wright quotes

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Steven Wright

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. - Steven Wright quotes

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Steven Wright

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese - Steven Wright quotes

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Steven Wright

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. - Steven Wright quotes

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Steven Wright

Steven Wright Inspirational Quotes

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. - Steven Wright quotes

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Steven Wright

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? - Steven Wright quotes

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Steven Wright

$Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. - Steven Wright quotes$

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Steven Wright

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. - Steven Wright quotes

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Steven Wright

Steven Wright Positive Quotes

How come abbreviated is such a long word? - Steven Wright quotes

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Steven Wright

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it? - Steven Wright quotes

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

Steven Wright

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. - Steven Wright quotes

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Steven Wright

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright quotes

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

Steven Wright Short Quotes

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat - Steven Wright quotes

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

Steven Wright

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps - Steven Wright quotes

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright quotes

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Steven Wright

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. - Steven Wright quotes

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Steven Wright

Steven Wright Wisdom Quotes

I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter. - Steven Wright quotes

I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.

Steven Wright

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? - Steven Wright quotes

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Steven Wright

How do you get off a non-stop flight? - Steven Wright quotes

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

Steven Wright

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright quotes

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.

Steven Wright

Steven Wright Unique Quotes

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? - Steven Wright quotes

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Steven Wright

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead? - Steven Wright quotes

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?

Steven Wright

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. - Steven Wright quotes

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Steven Wright

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time. - Steven Wright quotes

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.

Steven Wright

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. - Steven Wright quotes

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Steven Wright

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright quotes

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

Steven Wright

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. - Steven Wright quotes

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Steven Wright

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. - Steven Wright quotes

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Steven Wright

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said,

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?

Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. - Steven Wright quotes

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Steven Wright

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? - Steven Wright quotes

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - Steven Wright quotes

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Steven Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. - Steven Wright quotes

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Steven Wright

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? - Steven Wright quotes

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Steven Wright

I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him. - Steven Wright quotes

I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.

Steven Wright

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK. - Steven Wright quotes

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

Steven Wright

Love Quotes & Messages

Sad Quotes & Messages

Breakup Quotes & Messages

Angry Quotes & Messages

Love Status in Hindi

Sad Status in Hindi

Attitude Status in Hindi

Alone Status in Hindi

Good Night Status in Hindi

Good Morning Status in Hindi

Radhe Krishna Status

Birthday Messages

Birthday Messages for Mom

Birthday Messages for Dad

Birthday Messages for Friends