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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. - Steven Wright quotes

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Author: Steven Wright

See all Steven Wright Quotes

Good Night Messages for Wife

Good Night Messages for Wife

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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said,

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

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