The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese - Steven Wright quotes

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Author: Steven Wright

See all Steven Wright Quotes

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Since the past is unreal and the future is unreal, all your thoughts are about nothing.

Since the past is unreal and the future is unreal, all your thoughts are about nothing.

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