Author: Jeff Foxworthy
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Egypt Revolution Day Wishes
World Hepatitis Day Wishes
Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.
I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.
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