I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me. - Jack Benny quotes

I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.

Author: Jack Benny

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Jack Benny Quotes - The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!

The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!

Author: Jack Benny

Jack Benny Quotes - The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.

The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.

Author: Jack Benny

Jack Benny Quotes - I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

Author: Jack Benny

Jack Benny Quotes - Gags die, humor doesn't.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Author: Jack Benny

Jack Benny Quotes - I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.

I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.

Author: Jack Benny

Jack Benny Quotes - I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.

I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.

Author: Jack Benny

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