I'm happy to be making my first appearance on air professionally. By that I mean I'm finally getting paid, which I know will be a great relief to my creditors.

Jack Benny

Some people try and tell you what the songs are about and it bores me to death.

The only band that we have never played with but have always wanted to is the Rolling Stones.

Sharing's only fun when it's not your stuff.

As the world gets smaller and communication spreads further and further out there, you try to find the right balance.

I'm just sittin here trying not to be unhappy.

Stretching your parameters is a necessity if you wan to keep growing, and sometimes the best way to do that is to dive into the deep end.

One of my few shortcomings is that I can't predict the future.

If there was no Black Sabbath, I could still possibly be a morning newspaper delivery boy. No fun.

Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.

I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.

I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.

The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!

The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.