The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.

Keep rolling your eyes, you might just find a brain back there

Please be patient, I am ruining things as fast as I can.

I am not young enough to know everything.

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

I went to the general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.

People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.

Please cancel my subscription to your resurrection.

Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

My family is temperamental, half temper half mental.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you, who you are.

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.

Self-love is the source of all other loves.

Just do what works for you, because there will always be somebody who thinks differently.