Andy Rooney Quotes, Thoughts and images

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

If you smile when no one else is around, you mean it.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned, That when you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

I can't choose how I feel. But I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.

I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others

I've learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.

We need people who can do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.

One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.

All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.

I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.

I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.

I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the aeroplane?

I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

Death is a distant rumour to the young.

I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off