Bob Hope Quotes

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.