Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Best 10+ Jim Gaffigan Messages, Quotes, and Images
Jim Gaffigan Thoughts
Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.
Jim Gaffigan Messages
Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate being alone.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
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Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
Jim Gaffigan Thoughts
When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
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You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!'
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One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.
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Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!
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I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
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As a kid, I was told to talk as much as possible.
I don't ever look back. I look forward.
The truth of the matter is we have become more interested in designer jeans and break dancing than we are in obligations and responsibilities.
As a strong supporter of our 2nd Amendment rights, I believe tougher enforcement of our nation's existing gun laws must be done before any more laws are enacted and put on the books.
Today i will do what others won't so tomorrow i can do what others can’t.
Before the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound.