Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Best 10+ Jim Gaffigan Messages, Quotes, and Images
Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.
Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate being alone.
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!'
One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.
Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
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As a kid, I was told to talk as much as possible.
I don't ever look back. I look forward.
The truth of the matter is we have become more interested in designer jeans and break dancing than we are in obligations and responsibilities.
As a strong supporter of our 2nd Amendment rights, I believe tougher enforcement of our nation's existing gun laws must be done before any more laws are enacted and put on the books.
Today i will do what others won't so tomorrow i can do what others can’t.
Before the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound.