Jon Stewart Quotes

People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.

If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.

What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?

Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.

I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.

It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name...I have found.

The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

Don't censor yourself to comfort their ignorance.

We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.

I want you to admit that there is such a thing as white privilege.

When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.

You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

In whose delusional mind is democracy made 'better' by allowing wealthy people to control more of it?

Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?

When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?

The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.

I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance

Evil is relatively rare. Ignorance is epidemic.

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.

It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.

I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country.

I want a sandwich named after me.

I can only fight back in a way that I feel like I'm talented.

Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.

The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.