Will Rogers Quotes, Status, and Thoughts

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

The short memories of the American voters are what keep our politicians in office.

I know worrying works because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.

Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

America has the best politicians money can buy.

Common sense ain't common.

What the country needs are dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.

Don't squat with your spurs on.