God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done. - Lewis Grizzard quotes

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

Author: Lewis Grizzard

See all Lewis Grizzard Quotes

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.

Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

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