I love to talk about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about.

We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you won't be invited to cocktail parties.

When both a speaker and an audience are confused, the speech is profound.

Any place that we love becomes our world.

The moment that an artist takes notice of what other people want, and tries to supply the demand, he ceases to be an artist.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

The only thing I cannot resist is temptation.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.

To have become a deeper man is the privilege of those who have suffered.

I have spent most of the day putting in a comma and the rest of the day taking it out.

Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

I can't stand people that do not take food seriously.

Because sometimes you have to do something bad to do something good.

Love is a misunderstanding between two fools.

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.