Alcohol Quotes and Status

Find wisdom and humor in these thought-provoking quotes about alcohol. Whether you're a social drinker or a teetotaler, these quotes offer a unique perspective on the role of alcohol in our lives. Simply copy and download your favorite quote, or use it as inspiration to write your own.

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.

Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer, there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer, there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.

What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

It takes only one drink to get me drunk the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.

Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.

Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.

Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer, there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer, there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Either give me more wine or leave me alone.

Either give me more wine or leave me alone.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.

There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

I envy people who drink, at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink, at least they know what to blame everything on.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.

Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL

Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL

I work until beer o’clock.

I work until beer o’clock.

I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served.

I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served.

If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.

If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.

I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.

I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.

War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

Responsible Drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.

Responsible Drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA.

If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA.

Drink washes off the daub and discovers the man.

Drink washes off the daub and discovers the man.

People are not addicted to Alcohol or drugs, They are addicted to escaping reality.

People are not addicted to Alcohol or drugs, They are addicted to escaping reality.

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.

I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn’t keep things bottled up.

I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn’t keep things bottled up.