Phyllis Diller Quotes
Best 20+ Phyllis Diller Messages, Quotes, and Images
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
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Ours is an excessively conscious age. We know so much, we feel so little.
Hold to the now, the here, through which all future plunges to the past.
The future is everything that past has forgotten.
Betrayal betrays the betrayer.
If you will not have God (and He is a jealous God), you should pay your respects to Hitler or Stalin.
In films, murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.