Neil Simon Quotes, Status, and Thoughts

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.

Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages.

I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

I don't use computers... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand.

The first book was my first attempt at writing full-length prose.

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen.

Baptists are only funny underwater.

I never write a play with an eye to film.

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.