Jack Benny Quotes
Best 20+ Jack Benny Messages, Quotes, and Images
No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.
I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
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If they don't have a winning attitude, I don't want them.
The mere imparting of information is not education. Above all things, the effort must result in making a man think and do for himself.
Ultimately we must concern ourselves with pulling out by its roots the decadence that controls our culture, the profit motive that controls our culture.
It's an art to live with pain... mix the light into gray.
I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars.
It was helpful to be able to call a lawyer...it turns out, that not only did they help me, but they really helped the whole community.