Jeff Foxworthy Thoughts
Best 30+ Jeff Foxworthy Messages, Quotes, and Images
Jeff Foxworthy Thoughts
Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy Thoughts
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
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That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
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If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
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If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.
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I'm into the true meaning of Christmas - Faith, Family, and Facial hair.
My job affords me the luxury of having help. I don't feel exhausted, I feel lucky.
I have gone wooing to several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any of them.
Stride forward with a firm, steady step knowing with a deep, certain inner knowing that you will reach every goal you set yourselves, that you will achieve every aim .
If we are not willing to fail we will never accomplish anything. All creative acts involve the risk of failure.
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.