Mitch Hedberg Messages
Best 30+ Mitch Hedberg Messages, Quotes, and Images
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.
If 13 is unlucky, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association.
If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.
You May Also Like
Weak leadership can wreck the soundest strategy.
Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.
You can find magic wherever you look. Sit back and relax, all you need is a book.
Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.
Social reforms are never carried out by the weakness of the strong; but always by the strength of the weak.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.