Steven Wright Quotes
Best 30+ Steven Wright Messages, Quotes, and Images
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
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You've got to love something enough to kill it.
Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
With every mistake, we must surely be learning.
True worship is open to God, adoring God, waiting for God, trusting God even in the dark.
Get bored with your past, it's over!
Since the past is unreal and the future is unreal, all your thoughts are about nothing.