W. C. Fields Quotes
Best 30+ W. C. Fields Messages, Quotes, and Images
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with the bull.
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Life gave me everything I asked If all I asked was not a great deal, that's my problem!
It is the responsibility of intellectuals to speak the truth and expose lies.
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
Well,” said Stuart, “a misspelled word is an abomination in the sight of everyone.
The older I get the less I listen to what people say and the more I look at what they do.
The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.